Monday, August 4, 2008

Nitrous Oxide.............Good Stuff !!

Made my semi-annual trip to see Dr. Neil this morning. I love Neil, and his whole family, to death but I'd rather have a colonoscopy than to go see his assistant. Believe me, I've done both so I know. I usually carry my nose contraption that hooks up to the gas thingie with me, yes I have my own, but I couldn't put my hands on it this morning. When I told the Dental Assistant that I would have to get a new one she said that it wasn't on my chart to get gas. Uh-Oh..........She was fixing to see the ghost of Jr. West come out. Anybody that ever had dealings with him knows what I'm talking about. Anyone else that didn't, count yourself lucky. I've reached the age where I'm in charge of me and no one is going to beat the daylights out of me if I act up at the dentist's office. Anyway, before Jr. appeared, I calmly told her that I didn't open my mouth without gas and if she didn't believe me, ask Neil. She said "Just for a cleaning???" I kind of growled "Go ask!" She did and promptly wheeled the gas cylinders in when she came back and then he came in and hooked me up. Call me baby, I don't care.

When I was a kid, the dentist I went to, never will forget him, Dr. McCord down in Woodruff, used to practicly get up in the chair with me. He had old timey equipment, maybe it was state of the art back then, it WAS a long time ago. He'd push this swivel-tray, loaded down with tools, right up in front of you where they were very visable. These tools looked like the tools that someone might use to get information out of a terrorist. Then, when he would start toward your mouth with that machine that kind of looked like a dinosaur skeliton in a museum and all you could see was pulleys and belts wrapping around every arm on that T-Rex. You could hear the sound of the Black and Decker drill that was hooked to the end of all of those belts and pulleys. He'd say "Open Wide" and I'd be thinking "Yeah, right, not in this lifetime" Then I'd think about what Daddy would do when I got home and decided to open up anyway. Before he would shoot me with novicane he'd put this brown looking stuff on the end of a long Q-tip, stick it in my mouth and say "This will keep the shot from hurting." .....BULL..... He lied. I would almost stand straight up in that chair. That's when he would get up on top of me in the chair, to hold me down. I don't know what he charged Mama and Daddy for his services but I can garantee you when he got through with me he earned every penny of it. He'd have to go and change that funny looking shirt (it buttoned up on the side, under his arm, instead of up the front like a real shirt) cause his would be wringing wet with sweat when he finished with me. If he'd gave me the gas back then I might not garner such a dislike for Dental Assistants today. It's all his fault.


colbymarshall said...

I am TERRIFIED of dentists...I'm talking, drag-me-in-kicking-and-screaming terrifed. They give me a large dose of valium before I go because I freak out in the waiting room, lol.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

OMG! Yes! Why did they put those tools right in front of your face like that? Clearly, this is where torture scenes in movies drew their inspiration from. And by God, why shouldn't we have all kinds of drugs if we want/need them? If we haven't figured out a way to deal with them stress-free by the time we are adults, we aren't going to change. And if we don't have to put up with pain and stress, why should we?

I'm such a chicken with doctors though, I assume we always have to do it THEIR way, as if I have no choice in the matter. As if they are God. Well, you know what they call a guy who goes through dental school with a C average?

A dentist.

So, maybe, just maybe I know better than them. Harumph!

I'm sorry, we were talking about you, weren't we?

Jackie said...

Oh my gosh, your blog could have been about my experience as a child. Why did they have to make it such a horrifying experience for us? I start getting nervous a week before my appointments now. Don't get me wrong I love the dentist and hygenist I go to now but the scars from childhood are still there. Ha Ha! The only reason I go every six months to the dentist is I am SO AFRAID of what might happen if I don't. I want to keep my teeth in tip top shape so there will be no drilling or fillings. It must have been the times for our age, thank goodness it has changed.